Thud Thud Thud Thud

That was the sound of my own heart beating. So loud that I can practically hear it.

Thud Thud Thud Thud

Like it’s going to come out of my rib cage anytime soon. The thudding started when I received the message. When I first read it, I was hoping that my eyes were playing tricks on me. That the words written there were just a product of my imagination. That someone will nudge me to bring me back to reality. That I will receive another message and tell me that the first message was not meant for me or that it was only a prank. I’ve read the message over and over and over again, praying that somehow I have missed a word which altogether altered the message of the text.

But nothing. The message was exactly what it was. Nobody nudged me, there was no follow up message to tell me that it was a message wrongly sent to me nor a message to tell me that it was all a prank. And no, my eyes were not playing tricks on me…. It’s me who’s playing tricks on my mind. This is reality and reality jolted me once again as I am not yet ready to face it. Not now, not today - when am finally having a good feeling. When for the first time, I feel relaxed/contentment - I finally felt like I am ok. More than ok, I was happy. Until this…. Funny how a simple message can totally affect me in a 360-degree-turn kind of thing. I wasn’t ready, it was the last thing on my mind. I wasn’t geared to face this sort of change. I was, yet again, caught off guard. I really am not very good with this, don’t have the least idea how to deal with life. It comes with too many surprises which for most of the time is too much for me, I can’t handle it.

I was hurt. Deeply… I thought I  could somehow prolong the happy state that I was in, but I should have known better. I am not destined to have everything in place, at least not yet.

I called up the one person I know who would give up anything to take me out of the misery that I am always in - Alex. Upon hearing his voice, I did the one thing that I have only done twice (including now) since I’ve arrived here in Dubai - I cried……

Chubby is back from his vacation! Yay!!!!! So what did he get for me? A filthy filthy book. It would’ve been nice if it was a novel, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….. He has to give me a filthy filthy book. Not really worth the pain that I have to go thru to arrange the airport assistance with flowers and the free consultations I gave him during the shopping trip. Oh well and I was expecting something really really big from him after the UK vacation. Wishful thinking I am. Hehehe. So the filthy book was thoroughly enjoyed by his roomate, whose case of verbal diarhea is worst than mine. Never runs out of things to say.So Chubby will be going to Thailand next week and once again, I have exerted all my effort to arrange his trip. (Not that it’s a lot of work but I just have to exaggerate things a bit to make him feel guilty about the filthy book and give me a better one from Bangkok). So he’s going to Thailand this week and please please please Chubby, don’t bring a ladyboy back with you. Hehehe.

Thailand happens to be my ultimate favorite destination in Asia. I’ve been there for God knows how many times. What I like about that place is the food…. so tasty! And they offer the best streetfoods in the whole wide world! Truly, a gastronomical treat! Well, am a sucker for streetfoods. The dirtier the better, haha! I’ve eaten silkworms, bug, snakes etc. etc. Everytime am downing these extraordinaire delights, I have to gulp it down with something strong - gatorade, beer and the whatnots, while praying to the patrons of indigestion to spare me the hospital confinement afterwards. Haha! Well, let the whole world be damned… for as long as I die with a full stomach, I have lived my life completely. Haha! I love to eat, so sue me!

Anyway, Sam, my flatmate’s baby daughter - the 5-month old baby can now see. Apparently, she finds me amusing as well. I don’t know what is up with that but what takes a lifetime for my roomates to make the baby smile only takes me a split second and the baby will be giggling with delight. Now, I am not sure about it but I do think nobody takes me seriously in this world. Even a 5month old already thinks am a clown.

I had a passenger earlier who gave me mini bottles of lotion and perfume as she’s working for paris gallery. YAY!!!!!!!! It made me want to exhaust all my resources to get her the cheapest available flight going to Manila. So I was happy earlier, add to it the fact that am having an off tomorrow!!!!!! How sweet is that? Yiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Hi! My name is so and so, British working at this really big company in Dubai…

Hi! My name is so and so, half-Indian/half-English.

Hi! My name is so and so, Lebanese-Christian.

Hi! My name is so and so and I think Dubai is not at all cheap ‘coz when I was in London I get to shop more than what I can shop here.

Above are just a few of the introductions some superficial people use. I usually see a flashing red light on top of their heads whenever I hear some introductions like that.  But I can’t blame them, as some girls finds it amusing to know that the kind of the people above took interest on them - and their like vultures ready to attack. I hate being typified as one of them, really. Specially in a place like Dubai where your origin, job, money in your bank account defines what and who you are.

i’d be a hypocrite if i’ll say i don’t want to acquire the citizenship of the non-third world countries. but that’s for one reason and one reason alone - be able to travel without much limits. having a passport of a third world country, government initially thinks that we’ll enter their country and overstay there for as long as we can. who wants to live a life hiding from something/someone? absolutely not me. other than that reason, nothing else. i think am doing ok with my life now. i may not be living a very luxurious life but i can manage to survive daily with some vanities of my own on the side. just enough to keep me going and enjoy life as it is served everyday.

denden once said, whenever a guy is giving an introduction about themselves it would always be in the line of “I am so and so and am a [insert real nationality here] and add a [european country here]. but when asked for the passport, that person will give a passport not bearing any european country on the front cover. denden, just like me, is a travel agent. and i myself have encountered such people. there really is something wrong with that picture, pun intended.

as for the last statement, a guy out of nowhere approached me while i was having my break from work. asked me what are the things he can do in burjuman aside from shopping because he finds everything expensive there, without even asking him - he went on and on about his shopping spree in london and london being much cheaper than dubai. i don’t know if he’s trying to impress me for having lived in london (i could care less about it) or for being able to shop in london (which i think sounds gay). i told the guy that burjuman is a freaking mall so there really is nothing to do there but to shop around and i really have to go to the toilet and probably hit my head on the toilet bowl rather than talking to him.

men like these ticks me off big time. i hate show-offs. i don’t want to listen to anybody’s anecdotes which makes him look like he’s putting himself up on an imaginary pedestal. i would rather spend one day inside a room without anything to do rather than spend an hour or two with somebody like these people.

as a closing remark, let me introduce myself to everybody.

Hi, I’m Noemi. And am a cocktail. Half Filipino, 1/4 Spanish, 1/4 Chinese. I don’t need your money but I’d probably be needing your citizenship when i go have my tour around the world. You can come with me if you like but you have to pay for your own ticket and hotel. If you’re lucky and nice, I may let you use the free tickets that I get from the wonderful company that I work for.

i don’t know what is up with the world but i’ve been receiving hate mails from different people all for the same reason - that i am out to get the love of their lives. so this is just to lay down my cards - i am not born to grab the committed guys at every chance i get, it’s not on my to-do list and have never done that to anybody in the entire 24 years of my life.

there’s only one guy am interested to now and i don’t think he’s even interested on me. everything just falls into place when am with him. but of course, it would not be the same thing he feels towards me. to him, i am just a [insert word here which best describes what he feels towards me, as i myself have no idea haha] i don’t want to ask, as asking can just complicate what we have now and for the first time, i don’t want to complicate something in my life. haha! i am happy with what i know (or don’t know), i am happy with how he is towards me (or how he’s not), i am happy that he values me (genuine or not) and i don’t think am just getting scraps out of him (or at least that’s what i want to believe). anyway, i am happy. PERIOD

alex told me am too picky, that i always chase a ghost… that there are lots of men showing interest on me but i am just too close-minded and have exerted all my focus on this one guy i like. well, for the benefit of Mr. Alejandro “know-it-all” Rodriguez, here’s the list of the men who are “supposedly” interested on me:

1. Mr. Too Cool To Be True - sadly, he’s a Filipino. Working for a big company here in Dubai. What I can’t fathom is the mere fact that for an architect, he’s got a pea-sized brain. Ok, now you think am being judgmental but here is what he said that first time he asked me out for a date, you be the judge - “let’s have dinner anywhere you want. i can afford anything with the allowance am getting, i can even take you to Burj Al Arab everyday for dinner if  you want” - and i answered, “no thanks, am fine with my shawarma.” Absolute arrogance is not really what i want to be hearing for a couple of hours having dinner at the overly hyped-up hotel. This is what I hate about Dubai, people tend to be very superficial.

2.  Mr. Foreign Language - now how in the world will you be able to like someone when you can’t even understand what he’s trying to tell you 90% of the time? Yes he’s definitely an eye-candy but let’s not forget the fact that ”communication” is the key to any relationship. So I say, let’s have a platonic one. :p

3. Mr. Earth-Friendly - it’s ok to conserve water but not to the extent that you’ll sacrifice your own shower time for that. It makes you stink - badly.

So…….. what are my choices???? Tell me Alex. DO I HAVE A FREAKIN’ CHOICE????

was it just his manifestation to prove that he’s not what they think he is? or was it something else? bigger? better?

- no comment - and i don’t even want to ask…. :p

Where: at the office

When: the slowest time of the day - 2pm, no passengers, no phone calls, nothing

Scenario: passenger walked in and sat on the couch just across my counter. shortly after darting my eyes towards where he is, i suddenly lost my focus on the man in front of me asking where Dome Cafe is. i wanted to tell the man in front of me to get the hell out of my face ‘coz am not a f*cking map! but instead, told him “first entrance on your left”. as soon as the man asking for directions walked out of our office, i looked at the gorgeous guy and said “hi” with the sweetest smile.

Gorgeous guy: Are you free?

Mi: (For you, I am) Yes, how can i help you? [am not normally this curt to my passengers but he just made me say it]

Gorgeous Guy: I wanted to ask about travel insurance.

Mi: (you won’t be needing any insurance if you marry me, i’ll take good care of you - i won’t even let mosquitoes bite you) sure! kindly just fill out this form… [by this time, i had to keep myself from drooling over my counter, the guy's undisputably handsome - hands down!]

call me rude, but i did stared at him while he was filling out the form. haha! gorgeous eyes, gorgeous gorgeous face, lean body and then i saw it - the company logo on his shirt and i have dated (dating, not sure of the status now haha!) someone from that same company and for me, it’s off limits. dating 2 people who knows each other, it’s like hitting two birds with one stone - not good. not really good. but am still allowed to have a crush on him right? and not that he’s going to date me. haha! am just wishful thinking and yes, am allowed to do that. this is my blog, so….

gorgeous guy handed me the form, as i was carefully making each entries on the system, it was his turn to stare at me. or am probably imagining things, but imagination or reality - i would have blushed at the exact moment if i do blush. good thing i don’t. hehehe.

after the transaction, gorgeous guy asked “so, does the insurance takes effect now or after my flight?”.

Mi: well, the policy states the date today so it takes effect now.

Gorgeous Guy: so if something happens to me now, i can get use of this insurance  already? (with a sheepish schoolboy grin on his face)

Mi: yes, if something happens to you at the gym… you can already avail of the benefits on the insurance. (of course it doesn’t work that way, just making it up to make our conversation go on and on and on….)

Gorgeous Guy: Brilliant! Thanks!

Mi: you’re welcome (honey).

so i had my lunch right after he left, called up a good friend of mine and told him about this new-found “crush”. friend dared me to call him up and ask him out as i have his mobile number on the profile. initial reaction was - i can’t do it! because, he knows the guy i dated (dating). friend told me - just pretend he’s not working at the same gym and see if your charms will work…..

after thoroughly thinking it through (took me about 3minutes to think it thru), i dialled the “crush’s” mobile number on our landline - ring! ring! ring! he didn’t answer. sent him a text message which says “will you be able to advise me of your passport number and expiration date?” haha! safe! i told my friend if the “crush” replied on my message with something else other than the details am asking from him, then i’d probably do the one thing i haven’t done in my entire life - ask a guy out.

after 10mins, beep beep on my phone. message from the “crush”

passport number is E2347987 expiration 12jun2012

-end of message-

well, am just not the type to run after someone who’s playing hard to get. so, he blew it! he blew his very rare chance to be asked out by me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

and the good friend told me - you’re a chicken! i knew you can’t do it.

Title of the blog  does not really relate to what am going to write here - roomates are watching the movie and i just don’t think edward norton fits the character at all. or maybe am just not yet ready to give up the original eric bana as the hulk. so yeah! i am boycotting (is there such a word?) the movie night with the roomates, just because…

Anyway, it’s dubai summer surprise - the summer version of dubai sale festival held every february. i told myself several blogs back that i can’t spend much for this month ‘coz i am running short of cash. but come this afternoon, while waiting for my lift - i saw a dress on Mango and as luck would have it, i brought my credit card with me this morning. well of course i ommitted the fact that i saw this dress yesterday and told myself that i have to bring the credit card with me today. bought the dress, went on to another store to try a shoes to match with the dress, then went on again to another store and saw a top which would look good with my skirt and yet again, swiped the card. on my way to baskin and robbin’s to buy myself a cone of jamoca almond fudge, i saw yet again a shoes that will match the top that i just bought. there goes the credit card again. NICELY DONE NOEMI!!!! everything about me this afternoon screamed “Compulsive Shopper” and add to it the fact that these all happened in a matter of one hour while waiting for my lift. Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhh….. but anyways, am happy now, until the credit card bill arrives.

so i had a chat with the pilot about something. first time i talked to him about my senseless ramblings about my loser-state. i was appalled ‘coz he took me seriously. every single words i heard from him were ideas/advices which clearly made sense, i hate to say it but he’s right in all of the things he said. he must have discovered the elixir of wisdom brought about by life’s experiences. well, he does have a lot more experiences in life compared to me - and i don’t need to elaborate on that. hehehe. so anyway, i just didn’t realize that he will actually take everything seriously, i thought he’ll just brush it off… but anyways, taking his advices would save me while the stakes of my own failure is still small. but will i listen? or will his advice be ignored? we’ll see…

i have not seen the insides of the gym for the past few days - plainly because i have my period. and again, i have just announced it for the whole world to see. so this afternoon, the trainor dropped by the office (since my office and the gym is practically inside the same building) and asked when will i see him again for our next training session. am just making an excuse for myself now, i need a break from the weightlifting. told him to leave me alone and i’ll just call him when am ready. :p and that’s me being a diva.

For the past few how many months now, I have been abnormally obssesed about someone who doesn’t seem to know that  I exist. Or maybe he just doesn’t give a damn about it. For only God knows how long, I have sulked in the realms of the four corners of my room about this sad reality. I was obsessed on making him notice me. I was obsessed on making him care just a little bit about me. I was pathetic and i knew it and the worst part of it all is - he thinks am pathetic.

Then something happened which jolted me back to reality, woke me up to my senses and finally tell myself - enough is enough.

There is this one guy who keeps on bugging me day and night. The sight of his name blinking on my phone pisses me off, text messages from him are left unanswered and the mere sight of him makes me want to steer my direction away from where he is - but i can’t just ignore him since, let’s just say that am dealing business with him. If not for that fact, I would have told him to F*ck Off several weeks back already.

Then it hit me, what if the same guy am obsessing on is feeling the same way towards me???? WTF???? I don’t want to be that someone who’s name makes him irritated, I don’t want to be that someone who’s mere sight makes him want to dock and hide behind someone else’s shadows, I don’t want to be that someone. PERIOD.

So with all my might, after realizing all these 7 days ago - I finally decided to break free from his spell on me. I deleted his name on my phone book, deleted and blocked him on messenger, deleted all of his messages on my phone - well, it all goes down to one thing - every single thing which lets me communicate with him are now gone.

That was 7 days ago, I started my pursuit of happiness. And now, it’s finally giving me the result that I want. :p

They say, absence makes the heart go fonder.

I say, absence makes the heart go numb.

It’s Fridays (and Saturdays, if you’re lucky) for Muslim countries, Saturdays and Sundays for the rest of the world - WEEKEND! It is the consolation for yourself after finishing one whole work week - your own personal time. No obligations, no clients, no managers, nothing. So you have to spend this valuable hours wisely.

When I was a child, I look forward to weekends because I attend ballet classes on Saturdays. It would be hard for me to get up on weekdays, but I’ll be up and bouncing at the first hint of the sun’s rays on a Saturday. During college, weekend for me is a Friday night-out with two of my best friends - Ola and Beck at Pier One in Libis. Haha! Fun times! Working at the airport, weekend for us was an alcoholic night at Ratsky in Tomas Morato as our favorite band - K and the boxers! perform onstage. As a travel agent, weekend is the Friday night of pure belching out of high-pitched notes - karaoke night at Providence Tower. Sometimes, if am lucky and got the money, weekend is flying out of MAnila to Cebu and be a groupie for a local band there. Haha. As a call center agent, weekend is a drinking spree which starts at 5 in the morning after our shift and ends at 12 noon just as the sun is at it’s peak of shining. Talk about bad hangovers. Here in Dubai, it’s the Thursday night out raiding the clubs around the town.

What happens next? The dreaded hangover always the morning after. Haha!

Well, sure you’ll be a couple of hundred dirhams poorer, you’ll have a terrible hangover the next day, your hair and skin will smell of cigarette smoke, your legs are sore from all the dancings that you did the night before and  you’ll be awfully tired…. but regardless of all of these - the time spent with your friends laughing, dancing, catching up and plainly having a great time is priceless.

And of course, being able to witness the “juicy” details of the night before is worth it all:

1. Honey, (who was tagged a “turtle” by Chubby) after drinking a glass of bullfrog and 9 bottles of smirnoff ice will be singing the chorus of “What’s Going On?” at the top of her lungs with her very raspy voice. Also, she will gyrate like a belly dancer on a Shakira song, witnessing this - ladies and gentlemen, is absofuckinglutely PRICELESS. Oh yes, the girl is finally coming out of her shell.

2. A colleague can actually speak Filipino. And let’s all cross our fingers that nobody from that weekend will be able to read this blog - or I’ll be in trouble.

3. Someone we know might have been a very  good “mahjong” player in her past life.

4. Another colleague gyrates like a gigolo with or without alcohol influence.

5. Rock Bottom’s got an entrance fee now for AED100.

To sum it all up, it was a good night!

ordinary night…. legs propped up against the wall to relax the now very very stressed out legs from the hasted warm ups, trainings, rehearsals…. bla bla bla. reading a book when suddenly, the phone rang.

Soy un hombre muy honrado,
Que me gusta lo mejor
Las mujeres no me faltan,
Ni el dinero, ni el amor

The voice of Antonio Banderas singing the song above reverberated in my room…. grabbed the phone and as soon as i saw the name blinking on the screen i gawked… “how can he be calling me now?”. myriad of thoughts ran thru my mind, memories from before came back to me like a thud, questions unanswered, secrets revealed, painful memories.

he was one of quite a handful who made me happy, sad, crazy, hurt - all at the same time. i was happy during those times. that’s me, always thinking of the “NOW”, the euphoric stage that i can feel at the moment. nevermind that it will be as much hurt that i will feel later on, what’s important is that am happy at that exact time/place when am with him. i am crazy - who isn’t? known to be the laugh now, cry later kind of girl. then he was gone, just like that. never heard from again. the dilemmas that i have to face. ironically, it was just one night of crying, tears dried on their own (as per amy winehouse :p). but it was a gruesome time for me for the following days. but still, i was able to put it all behind me…

so now…….. just as every part of me is all ok, very ok - his name is blinking on my phone… just when am all alright and fine..

to prove that am not a massochist as what my friends have told me, i just stared on the phone  as antonio banderas sang the last notes of el mariachi….

Ay, ay, ay, ay
Ay, ay mi amor
Ay mi morena,
De mi corazon

somebody’s reading my mails….. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

alright, so. there was a whirlwind of thoughts earlier of the things i will write about for tonight, but now that am all ready to type it down it’s all gone. am i now suffering from memory gap? is this a sign of old age? hehehe. anyway, will try to write it in bits and pieces.

to start of, thanks to the pilot who gave me a wonderful gift the other day. nevermind that a day prior to that he gave me the cheesiest things…. but the gift the next day covered it all up. so….. thanks to the pilot. i need to think of something better than the vouchers. haha.

am beat. tired of everything….. every single thing. YET am happy. unbelievably happy…. i have no idea why, but i am. i sometimes think to myself if am delusional, probably - but who cares? am happy. period

finally on the house, we got a lead. mothers know best. i miss her by the way.

haven’t heard from chubby since he sent me that late night odd text message. are you still alive chubby???? getting any fatter?

right, i really and totally forgot all the things am supposed to write about. so yeah, am ending this blog right here. or should i just delete it?

i blog about things which doesn’t make much sense. really. so now i have thought to totally discard this blog of mine, where people know who i am and focus on the other blog account where i write anonymously under a pen name of ……… what? you really thought am gonna say that? anyway, am having second thoughts now if blogging on this account is smart. the consequences of of having my feelings/thoughts spilled out in a public blog where anonymous people can read it or worst yet - the people am talking about. vulnerable to a chance to know the truth/lies/dilemma/heartaches bla bla bla. am such a girl. well anyway, i have always suffered from perpetual case of verbal diarhea eversince i learned how to write. so……. after reading what i have just written - am clueless as well to what am trying to say on this blog. anyway, if you do come by to this blog, just laugh at me and shush your little mouth.

Rant 1: i am wishing for a romance like that of……. nicholas sparks (sans the endings wherein the lead characters always end up dead) novels. i certainly hope “he” can look at me like that of the lead men characters towards the lead women characters in his novels. oh well, i think i can play the men role better than any of the men i know. haha!

Rant 2: get a grip! to him, you’re nothing. you don’t even exist. he just remembers you whenever he needs you….. sad sad sad life, but that’s your life. he’s unaware of the fact that it’s him that you think of at night, clueless that you always give yourself a pat on the shoulder if you have survived a day of not communicating with him, that for you it is in itself an accomplishment, he doesn’t know that it hurts you to see that he’s all doing just fine without you as part of his day, clueless of the fact that you miss him more than anything else. do you dare tell him all these?????

Rant 3: am tired of 6 days of work per week. i think am about to die now. i need a breather…….

Rant 4: before starting all these workouts with the trainor, i weighed  (drum roll please) 57.somethingkg last february. after just 5 months of working out, i weighed (again, drum roll please….) 58.something kg. WTF????? i should have just stayed away from the gym. anyways, so after doing the training with my trainor now - i, again gained weight. i gained .02 kg. WTF is wrong with the picture??????? somebody please explain it to me. pilot said that because am getting muscles now, i will really gain weight. but weight shouldn’t matter, it’s the BMI i should be more concerned about. what is my BMI??? i don’t have the least idea. don’t ask me.  anyway, favorite workout is after the workout. my trainor gives me back massage while he goes on and on and on about something and i, on the other hand, is half listening and half sleeping. you gotta love a trainor who gives you back massage after saddistically making you sweat, pant and ache all over your body. alright perverts, get your minds out of the gutter.

Rant 5: so am on a tight budget now and on a diet. hehehehe. will i ever survive this month??? (laughs at self as i was so close to taking money out of the savings earlier)

Rant 6: i can no longer upload pictures here in wordpress. i wonder why.

Rant 7: Manny Pacquiao, the Filipino boxer who “always” brings glory to the country, won yet again against the David Diaz, mexican. Somebody told me that Mexicans hate Filipinos because of PAcquiao, most popularly known as PACman - for he beats all his opponents like there’s no tomorrow. Anyway, am tired of this news. Am no longer excited to a Pacman fight for it is always the same ending. Philippine flag wins over the Mexicans. I hope he lose next time - and I know that by typing that last statement i am surely cursed at by the avid Pacquiao fans. Just for fun. :p

Yeah, need to go.

To the last passenger I had last Thursday

26Jun08

Dubai, UAE

Dear Madam;

WHAT THE F*CK is WRONG WITH YOU?????? Is it my fault that your visit visa is expiring the next day and the flights going to Kish are all full????? After giving you the option of issuing a confirmed ticket on Saturday and trying your luck as a chance passenger for Friday you told me - “then what if nobody cancels? should i stay at the airport for the whole night” in your most sarcastic voice. I mean c’mon!!!!!!!! Do you even have to ask me that? Am a travel agent, am not your nanny and your life doesn’t depend on me and no, am also not your advisor. I don’t know about you, but I am normal and normal people would not stay overnight at the airport if ever they weren’t accepted on the flights they took a chance of taking. And most certainly - I have nothing to do with the flights being full going to Kish on the day of your visa expiration, so don’t blame me for every wrong thing that is happening in your life now.  Did it not occur to you that you should have arranged everything beforehand to avoid any inconveniences such as this??????? So don’t scream, shout and curse me while you do a monologue of you not believing that flights to Kish are all fully booked. Believe me, they are.

There is a part of every person’s body which is called “brain”, you should use yours from time to time. Even if yours would be pea-sized, it should work and would be able to give you better judgments next time.

And as a closing remark, make sure that whenever you’re talking to somebody - you are at least 3 steps away from them as you tend to spit out a huge amount of your saliva while you’re talking. It’s like putting someone else’s face in front of a shower, good thing there is a considerable space between the two of us. God bless the computer monitor.

Sincerely yours,

The Unfriendly Travel Agent (Drop dead you freak!!!!!!)

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

BReathe in……………. breathe out…………..

I was doing that inside our pantry after dealing with the passenger above last Thursday. I thought I was going to have a stroke for keeping my composure while the passenger wrecked havoc in front of me. She’s from a place where people are widely known as being feisty, so I should know better not to do much more damage to her personality. But she did pissed me off and made me miss my appointment with my trainor at the gym. Good thing trainor is kind enough to still give me a full 30mins session, afterwards occassionally comes back to me while he made his 6pm appointment run on the treadmill for 15mins. so technically i still had 45mins with him hehehehe. i love my trainor! :p

anyways, thursday night is a ladies’ night. i need to vent out the stress i had from the last passenger i had, not to mention the 6days a week workday for the past few how many weeks now. i need to vent it out on the dancefloor and shakira singing as a background. i had a blast. pictures were taken, lots and lots of it. that’s what made it even more enjoyable… so after the vodka/sprites and bullfrogs (f*cking bullfrogs) and after meeting an old friend at madinat, we finally called it a night at 3 in the morning with my stomach rumbling. thank God for the very incredible invention called “canned foods”, preservatives and all - i cooked (heating a canned food for me is cooking, so sue me) and ate it all - with rice…. yum yum yum!

friday, is my domesticated and vanity day. did the laundry, cleaned the room, went to the salon to have my nails done (my latest addiction), eyebrows done and a lot more things done. went back home to iron the clothes that i just washed this morning, ordered a pizza and pigged out with my flatmates. then went online. and now here i am, blogging away.

i need to have a vacation. a long one. 2 days please…. i badly need it or i’ll go crazy. if i were to choose between an overtime pay over 2 whole days of being on off, i’d choose the latter without even worrying about the credit card bills that i have to pay.

speaking of the credit card bills, i am seriously broke. i did the math on the salary that i have just received. setting aside the house rent, bills, credit card payments and savings - am left with an amount which am not sure if it can support me for a month. and now, my hands are itching for me to take some money out of the savings - which is against my policy. i can’t and should never take something out of it otherwise it would be a vicious vicious addictive cycle and before i know it, i may no longer have savings. i’ve come a long way now - not touching the savings account, i need an incredible amount of will-power…. haha.

so we had our practice earlier this morning for the big event on wednesday. we finally perfected the lift on the climax of the dance by finally accepting the fact that my suggestion is right, do the lift from the right side so there will be enough time and full power will be exerted from the right. been trying to tell my partner over and over again that we should do the lift from the right but he won’t budge as according to him, left side will have a more dramatic effect as the lights will have my shadows reflecting on the floor as we do the lift. anyway, i just want to get over this thing. the jittery feeling, nervousness before a show is too much for me now. can’t take it anymore. butterflies in my stomach are gigantic now. a flick of their wings turns my stomach upside down.

on a different subject, chubby left the country. called me up earlier to tell me that it’s freezing in the UK and he’s so damn happy and enjoying the sight of the green grass there. sounds gay to me. hahahahaha! anyway, hello chubby! i hope you’re having a great time there, don’t forget what you owe me. lots of things from the UK. :p

right, i need to go…. not that i have a very busy schedule ahead of me, but i have nothing else to say. :p

Been awhile. 2 days is considered “awhile”. I practically crawl up to my bed as soon as i take my shower when i get  home at night. quickly scanning my mails then doze off as soon as am done answering the mails of “worthy” people. :p

Met up with Chubby yesterday to finally buy the pants with the purple lining on its backpockets. now, he was specific that he wants to have that pants with the purple lining on its backpockets ‘coz he saw one of his friends with that same pants from ted baker. now the question is, am i right to conclude that chubby is actually checking out guy’s behinds to even notice that very faint purple lining of that pant’s backpockets? am i right to conclude that or am i just right?

then the asshole called me up at 2 in the freakin morning to prepare me for the late night drunken calls that is supposedly happening when he goes for vacation starting tomorrow. in return i called him up at 7 in the morning. just to even the scores.

at 2pm today, chubby went back to burjuman to get the altered pants from ted baker. met him up for a hasted coffee trip while he yawns and complains about a headache caused by the rhum from their last night’s drinking spree. such a diva.

so it has been a pretty good week with chubby, which he unselfishly proclaims - all worth it for me to take that bus from burjuman to deira.

on a totally different note, pimple breakout is becoming even worse specially that period is just a week away. (too much information). add to it the late nights, early mornings, heavy make up for the rehearsal, work, house hunting (which until now gives me no leads) bla bla bla bla bla - just about the same things i’ve said on my previous blog. anyhow…… will soon go away. hoping!

As a closing remark…..

Never invest yourself in anything so deeply that its failure could cost you your happiness…..

- n -